How to use your marketing to be completely ignored

1. Design a web site that looks really slick, in the same color as every other site in your business category.

2. Make sure your tag line is broad enough that it can encompass every customer’s possible need and desire.

3. Study your competitors to see what messages and styles seem to work really well, then use those in your own marketing.

4. Make sure potential customers know about every wonderful thing you do. Never miss an opportunity to list every single benefit and feature you provide—you never want to turn away any potential business.

5. Never take a stand that will allow you to be labeled or pigeon-holed in any way.

6. Create your brand style with the same approach you take when you dress for a funeral: tasteful, understated and unobtrusive.


7. Avoid overly emotional statements at all cost—especially if you’re selling a logical product

8. Never admit to making a mistake or having a weakness—always appear to be strong and in control.

9. Use your marketing to convince people of your superiority with lots of charts, statistics and bullet points.

10. Don’t be overly swayed by customer opinions about your business or about your marketing—after all, you’re the expert, not them.

3 comments (Add your own)

1. Amelia wrote:
Right on, Jon! These are all too familiar, and I cringe reading them - safe, safe, safe. I like your negative approach here, and it is frightening how easy it is to read these as though they are real pieces of advice. Thank you for the truth in your posts!

Wed, July 22, 2009 @ 12:46 PM

2. Janisa wrote:
I thought I'd have to read a book for a disocvrey like this!

Thu, December 29, 2011 @ 2:11 PM

3. bugrrciwsbg wrote:
ItN80V wcguuascyuen

Fri, December 30, 2011 @ 4:30 AM

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