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Are you more interested in doing business with a company that wants to destroy their competition, or one that cares about your happiness and success?

The language of traditional marketing is the language of war: waging campaigns, hitting targets and beating the competition. And believe me, with 20 years in the ad business, I’ve been down that road. But the language of new marketing is the language of love: Gaining permission, developing relationships, personalizing the experience and joining communities.

Boy, have things changed: Not long ago, marketing was a monolog. Advertisers put their message out on the airwaves, in print, and other traditional media. If it was clever or relevant, maybe you paid attention. But I bet you’ve noticed it sure can’t grab your attention the way it used to. Not even on the Superbowl.

Now, 8 years after The Cluetrain Manifesto,  we’ve truly moved away from monolog to dialog and on to a community dynamic. For every interest (business or otherwise) there’s a community, with a lively, opinionated exchange about who fulfills their needs. Now, if we want to sell a product or service within a community that cares about it, we need to show the citizens of that community some love.

If you’re starting up a new business, you have a great opportunity to find your community and get clued-in early, discovering which product features people consider essential before you build them. That way, when you launch, you won’t be ‘polishing a turd’, as we used to say in the ad business.